If you’re wondering how we discover some of these bizarre restaurants, look no further than the Healthy Communities section of Calgary Health Region website. Then scan the list of places that have been issued public health violations. Some of the infractions are certainly worse than others. Sure, there is the occasional report of live and dead rodents, but the majority of the infractions are relatively less dramatic (ie not having staff with FoodSafe certificates or not having enough cooking vessels). This was the case with Bikaner Sweets House and Restaurant. When Ren and I saw that their violation was no longer active, we decided to check it out. (matt)

It looks like they may have been shut down before they even opened maybe a pre-opening inspection.  This is much better than the technique apparently used by the Ivory Restaurant and the Bombay Cafe.  They have both been cited this year for not having food service licenses.  Possibly they were thinking that if the CHR doesn't know you exist then they are less likely to inspect you.  (ren)

Bikaner is a common stop on the tourist trail through Rajasthan. Located only a short drive from India’s Rat temple, it’s not uncommon to meet up with other Westerners making their way to see the famous Hindu temple.  I went at 2PM. All the rats were asleep.  It was very disappointing. That’s about all I remember about Bikaner. That, and the 2 gay hairdressers from Calgary who happened to be staying at the same Havali (mansion-hotel) as we were.  I remember they were very angry at being kidnapped in Kashmir and were planning on writing a letter to India’s Tourist Department. Maybe they should have heeded the Lonely Planet warnings not to go to Kashmir in the first place. Dumbasses. Hopefully I would not meet up with them at this restaurant. (matt)

The restaurant itself looks like it just opened for business...they have a large area in the back presumably for eating-in, but no tables or chairs. The owner said they'd be there the next time we visit, so we'll have to peek in and see.  I didn't see any rats or tourists, or gay hairdressers, and the owner didn't mention any of them being there the next time so I have to assume they will not be.  (ren)

Bikaner Sweets House and Restaurant is located in what Ren and I are now calling the “Curry District”. If Heritage Meadows can call itself “the Design District” then certainly the 2 block radius surrounding Castleridge Safeway can have its own moniker. We count no less than 8 Indian or Pakistani restaurants in the area. Bikaner Sweets’ claim to fame is that it apparently has “ALL TYPES OF SWEETS”. Don’t be fooled though. When they say ALL TYPES, they actually mean ONLY INDIAN. We failed to find Gobstoppers, Big League Chew, Mike n Ikes or even Blue Whales. (matt)

They also didn't have Coke bottles, Fun Dips, or ring pops.  However since this is an Indian food review site we won't take that into account when giving a score.  (ren)

We walked in and were told that they were take-out only. Given this, we asked for a take-out menu. We were told they didn’t have one. Hmm.

“What would you like? We can make anything.”

I kept my inner smartass on a leash. Instead we decided on Shahi Paneer and Butter Chicken with naan and rice. As if time was a type of fertilizer, we were advised to come back in 10-15-20 minutes. I assume this was so the owner could go to one of the nearby meat shops or Indian grocers to get the ingredients. This got me thinking and before long, Ren and I found ourselves in one of the Curry District’s food and food supply stores. (matt)

All around the hood are small mom-and-pop type grocery stores and halal meat shops.  While we waited we decided to take a look through one of them and check out the scene while we waited.  (ren)

As usual, we found ourselves in another world. We were the only white men in a smorgasbord of desi products. Some of them were very much unrecognizable to us. That being said, we loaded up on Indian snack food including some incredibly tasty Mini Samosas. Our anthropologic adventure was not over though, as we soon found ourselves in a video store browsing through some of Bollywood’s greatest offerings.  We decided on an Indian version of Fight Club. Rule number one: Never talk about Pakoras!  As we were leaving we noted a man trying to jimmie his van door open. We debated if this was the least concealed auto theft ever or some man who had unfortunately locked himself out of his car. In the end, Ren convinced me not to call the police.  (matt)

If you called the police every time you saw a man using a coat-hanger in place of a key you'd be on the phone waaaaay too often.  I simply figured that if you're going to steal a vehicle then a big “child-molester” van parked in the spot right in front of the door of a busy grocery/video store would probably be your last pick.  Of course there's always the possibility that there was a kidnapping victim trapped in the back and the kidnapper was trying to get back into the van without calling CAA and possibly getting busted.  If this was the case this time.....whoops!!!!! Sorry kid. Our bad.  (ren)

We went back to the place and picked up the food. We paid $26 for the two of us which is, maybe a little on the higher side for the Curry District, but not too bad. They also have a lunch box special for about $9.  (matt)

It smelled so good.  You can just tell when a curry is going to be good when you put it in the car and all of a sudden boom, you're wishing they made masala scented air fresheners.  Mmmm.  Much better than those crappy foot scented ones.  (ren)

We brought the food home and were pleasantly surprised. My shahi paneer was excellent. I have no complaints about my dish and would easily give it a 9. Ren on the other hand was less pleased with the butter chicken. As for the film, it was very typically Indian. Bizarre Backstreet Boys-like dance scenes.  Melodramatically vindictive antagonists trying to disrupt the life of the average man, who is just trying to fall in love with that girl he saw at the spice market. There’s probably a car chase and a simulated rape scene in there too but we couldn’t make it through the full 3 hour movie. Classic Bollywood: every film is a 200 minute epic.  In India, “Dude, Where’s My Car” is a three part trilogy that rivals Lord of the Rings and goes by the name “Frodo, get my Auto-ricksaw”  (matt)

If the butter chicken was just the sauce it would have been an easy 9/10.  Unfortunately they included the chicken.  It seemed as if it had been cooked at a completely separate time in a completely separate dish.  Maybe it saves on prep time but it really spoiled the magic for me.  The chicken had virtually no flavour and just didn't feel like it belonged.  The sauce however was amazing.  I might try them out again and see if this has been remedied when they're up to full speed with eat-in and chairs and menus and tables and all that fancy “grown-up restaurant” stuff. (ren)

Overall, if you’re tired of eating at Apna Punjab or Nirvana, this is a good option. There’s no one clipping their fingernails in the kitchen and no bizarre meat popsicles found at other nearby restaurants (see previous reviews). Additionally, the food is decent. We give Bikaner Sweets an 8.

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