This was a bit of a difficult review for me. For starters I was extremely ill. I'd had a cold for a couple weeks prior to going and still was far from healthy. Also, Matty was so inspired by the restaurant he produced one of his most coherent, well-flowing reviews. Unfortunately this has made it pretty much impossible to do this in our usual conversational style. Lastly he somehow managed to save his file as a read-only which caused me to have to jump through a couple hoops to actually be able to edit it. But here I am, and now, here's matty. (ren)
The end of every Doogie Howser MD episode always featured Neil Patrick Harris’ character typing something “profound” into his computer diary. In much the same way, at the end of every one of Ren and I’s curry adventures, I drive home afterwards and try typing up a profound review/life lesson learned. This is pretty much where the comparison between myself and Neil Patrick Harris starts AND stops. In other words, after this blog dies out and is erased from the internet, I won’t disappear from the public eye for 15 years and then suddenly reappear to portray raging heterosexuals (despite revealing otherwise to People Magazine) in movies with cult followings about New Jersey stoners or on shows about how Bob Saget met his wife. No. I’ll probably just get fat. How’s that for profound?
And so I sit here at my computer, in the late hours of the night contemplating the curry I just ate with Ren at India Palace and Restaurant, trying to draw inspiration from the evening.
Ren was deathly ill…Sometimes in life, the best medicines are not the strongest antibiotics or the most powerful pain relievers…no, tonight I discovered that sometimes butter chicken is a better substitute…if nothing more than a tastier one.
We started with the vegetarian samosas…they were freshly prepared…but sometimes in life, fresh isn’t the safest alternative…sometimes fresh means they just removed an item from the deep fryer and you should let it cool down before trying it…otherwise you risk burning off all the skin cells on the top of your mouth.
Ren went with butter chicken…I went with Lamb Curry…simple dishes…great taste…sometimes in life we discover the greatest pleasures from the simplest of things…a warm bath…a child’s smile…soft pajamas..toilet training your cat.
In addition the mains, we had rice, naan and mango lassis…sometimes in life you need to surround yourself with life’s staples…other times it’s life’s thumbtacks and paperclips that hold us together…I have no idea what that means.
After dinner, we waited for the cheque and watched as the waitress tragically dropped a takeout order… in life, we all make mistakes…most of the time it’s easiest to have the underage kitchen servant clean up our mistakes. Other times, you have to suffer the consequences of your mistakes. Like when you misuse the word “vicarious” in a curry review and then get email (with dictionary definition of said word) from an angry reader. On a completely “unrelated” subject, I would like to offer my own dictionary definition. (matt)
Alrighty then....I guess it's my turn. Not too much to add. Matty has completely bewildered me with his ranting. The food was acceptable but nothing spectacular. It certainly wasn't amazing enough to cut through the haze of my illness, but everything tasted like it was supposed to. The service was mostly indifferent. They certainly weren't rude, but they also didn't seem like we were doing them any favours by being there. In any other neighbourhood this restaurant probably could have gotten an eight or so, but being located in the “curry district” you have to have slightly higher standards to impress us. (ren)
India Palace and Restaurant scores a 7/10
Not at the Restaurant:
Anyone vicariously attending the Carlson School of Management
Adam Jones (Director for Tool’s Vicarious video)
Guha Bala (Founder of Vicarious Visions, video game developer)
