Before proceeding with this review, we need to take care of some housekeeping issues.  We’ve just celebrated our 2nd anniversary and if you were one of the 1600 people who logged on last year, thank you! Probably 700 of those hits were either Ren, myself or our kick ass web mistress checking to see how many hits we had; but whatever, 1600 hits is still impressive for a stand alone site about curry. We invite you to continue reading and sending us your thoughts. In the mean time we’re pleased to offer the following promotion for our readers as a thank you:

From the feedback we’ve received, one of your favorite parts of the site is the list of 3 individuals not at the restaurant. Most of the time these people are either celebrities with no connection to the Calgary curry scene OR are random people from history/literature who have been dead since the 1700s. (For example, who can forget the nonappearances of Nazi Commander Erwin Rommel from the Kashmir review or Garden Claw inventor Art Drysdale from the infamous Skylark review? Not us that’s for sure. ) For a limited time we are inviting you to nominate a mystery celebrity/individual not seen at the restaurant. If we like your idea, that person might just make a nonappearance in an upcoming review. Send your picks to dodgycurrycalgary@yahoo.com

Now, on to the review…

Nirvana. Chicken
Tikka Masala causes
Highest Happiness.
                                    Ren

Nirvana. We are gonna try and get through this review without mentioning Kurt Cobain once. That being said, I liked when we threw in the Weird Al video during the Saffron review and he does an excellent “Smells Like Teen Spirit” knockoff. (FYI: According to Wikipedia, Teen Spirit is available in 4 scents - Sweet Strawberry, Cool Coconut, Berry Blossom, and Shower Fresh. Curry is not a scent unfortunately.) Ren is surprisingly well versed in Buddhist concepts and would be quick to point out the real meaning of Nirvana. (matt)

I think Matt is confused.  What I know about nirvana was succintly stated in my haiku. (my new special feature).  However I am a big fan of Valhalla.  That place sounds freaken cool.  Definitely want to be on Odin's side when it's time for Ragnarök.  Although I think the closest I'll ever come to being “gloriously slain in battle” will be a botched narcotic robbery.  I'll have to consult a theology professor or an old Viking to see if that qualifies. (ren)

The first thing I noted when I pulled up to this Castleridge restaurant (located across from Apna Punjab), was the signage. The logo features the symbol for Yen, Japan’s currency. This made me nervous because the usual currency for Northeast Calgary is the Canadian dollar or possibly some type of livestock (usually goat). Thank God for Credit Cards.(At the time of writing, 1 CDN Dollar = 112 Yen) Also of note was a secondary sign that said “North America’s Exclusive East Indian Restaurant”. Yikes. Should I be wearing a tux? (matt)

Nirvana is amazingly easy to find.  Especially if you've ever visited Apna Punjab, The Village, Kohi Noor, or the Bombay Sweet house.  3 of the 4 are in the same basic parking lot complex and the 4th is within easy walking distance.  Theres also a place nearby that does a takeout indian lunchbox (tiffin???) deal that we haven't visited. (ren)

In actual fact, you probably wouldn’t be overdressed in a tux at Nirvana. This place is like a palace. Not unlike many of the real palaces in India, Nirvana is surrounded by crap but once you step inside, you could easily be hanging out with the Sultan of Dubai. (Except he lives in the UAE but whatevs). (matt)

It was very swanky.  And not in that Swank Magazine kinda way.  Cause that really isn't appropriate for family dining.  They've got tile floors, a bunch of really nice artwork, and a fountain in the main dining area.  Also the sweets counter is divided off from the dining area which cuts down on the number of people sitting in your lap drooling over gulab jamin while you try to eat. (ren)

Ren’s former technician joined us. Ren always likes to dine with three people. That way he doesn’t have to talk to me.  I was gonna have Chicken Tikka Masala (aka Murgh Tikka Masala) but noted that it was in the buffet and so broke with tradition and went with buffet.  (matt)

Sometimes its nice to have someone other than matt to talk to during a meal.  Especially when I've ordered the buffet and it is excelent and he's recieved some kind of creepy goat soup and is hating it.  Hard not to rub it in.  I tried to goad him into getting the a la carte CTM (not Canadian Tire Money), but he smartly took the buffet on this occasion. (ren)

We were quite impressed with the quality of the dishes. While there wasn’t 100 items, I think its more important to have 5 really well done buffet items versus 99 craptastic ones. The Chicken Tikka Masala was among the best which I’ve tried. The butter chicken had appropriate cream:tomato ratio according to Ren. Also available were veg pakoras (excellent), goat rogan josh (goat-like, contains no Yen), dhal makani, tandoori chicken, what appearred to be a saag chole (spinach and chickpeas) and some type of mystery item in yellow sauce (I guessed maybe some type of dossa pancake with chicken in it).  The rice was average and the naan perfect.  (matt)

Yeah....it doesn't really matter if you have 100 items if 3 of them are just different flavours of jello.  (Although sometimes thats still the best dish on the buffet).  Then you add each of the sauces/chutneys as their own items and you end up with a whole lot of nothing.  Not here though.  The CTM was really good, and the butter chicken was fantastic.  The goat itself was tender and delicious but i found the sauce lacking a bit.  The dhal was....dhal.  We weren't offered drinks so we stuck with water....it was fine.  And free.  And not full of weird brown crap like the stuff i had to clean out of my basement after the last rain. (ren)

As we dined a sound technician was setting up for a traditional Indian music performance on the stage located inside the dining hall. The owners told us it was for a private function but that they planned on making it a tradition in the future. This is an ingenius idea that we have not seen elsewhere in our curry adventures. I say go for it. While they’re at it, they should have bollywood dancing for entertainment. People love crazy stuff like this.    (matt)

Its too bad they didn't have anyone playing while we were there.  I really look forward to revisiting Nirvana to get the complete experience.  (ren)

The only unfortunate part of our meal occurred near the end when, what I can only assume was the palace’s janitorial staff showed up. They started buffing the floor. While the noise was distracting it was nothing in comparison the noxious smoke fumes that resulted moments later when the buffer pad exploded sending a Minwax and gas mixture into the air and sending us fleeing for the till to pay our bill. If you have an Asian discount card, you apperently save 15%, although we were never actually shown our savings to verify this.  (matt)

Nirvana is a great place to take a woman. We recommend it for anniversaries and romantic dinners. I'm not sure when we became authorities on either of those subjects but if the woman in your life (even if she is actually a man) doesn’t think the food is good, she’ll at least appreciate the marble floors and walls. We will be back to Nirvana for sure. And if we’re not, its cause we still have like 35 more places to review. Its been a long time since we’ve been able to hand out a near perfect score. Nirvana earns it.

Score: 9/10.

Rating: