It’s been 15 years since they were relevant, but for whatever reason, when I first heard the name Apna Desi Meat Masala, it reminded me of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I think it was the fact that it was a catchy four word descriptive name. I soon found myself singing the theme song for the Ninja Turtles, substituting “Heroes in a half shell” for “Pakoras in a nice sauce”. I wasted an entire afternoon at work wondering if the staff at ADMM would have names devoted to Renaissance artists and scientists or carry cool weapons. (matt)
Fifteen years??? Matt must have been visiting one of his frequent exotic or backwater destinations (Phuket??? Regina???) last year when the TMNT movie took the world by storm. Oh well, he's never been known for his acceptance of modern special effects and considers Flash Gordon fighting a giant lizard (or iguana via trick photography) the pinnacle of achievement for the genre. Also if matty had done his homework he could have considered the possibility that the staff members at ADMM were named after famous participants in the Bengal Renaissance . (ren)
As it turns out, they do have large knives used to cut up various types of meat. That being said, I don’t think “Baldev Gill” was a very popular name in 14-17th Century Europe. (matt)
There were however a total lack of nun-chucks or Vanilla Ices. Not even a single vanilla ice. (ren)
When you first walk in to Apna Desi Meat Masala, you are met by large white deli cases full of pre- marinated meats. It’s not all that obvious that you can get take out so don’t be fooled. Also try not to look at the meat. It’s kinda gross. Instead, stand patiently by the cash register and ask for a take-out menu. We did this and found that, unlike other places in the curry district, they actually had a printed take out menu. (matt)
I thought the meat looked pretty cool actually. They had whole chickens and giant chunks of lamb in a variety of different indian sauces/spices. Looked like the perfect thing to take home, throw in the slow cooker and feed to your suburban family of 2.3 kids with some rice-a-roni. Or not....but they intrigued me nonetheless, and that's saying something. (ren)
Remembering seeing Apna Desi Meat Masala in the Asianpages.ca discount book, I asked if we could get our bill reduced with the card. The guy said they aren’t part of the program anymore. Hmm..Convenient. This left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth but we ordered nonetheless. I went with goat curry and Ren opted for Chili Chicken. We also got some paneer pakoras which the menu board said were “on special”. We’re not sure how special since the price was the same as in the take-out menu. (matt)
Maybe they were extra-special-tasty? Didja ever think of that smarty-pants. It was a bit disappointing that the discount card didn't work, but I think that program first gave me a bad taste in my mouth when their website introduced me to pop-up-spyware-hell. I wonder if they offer a discount on anti-virus software. (ren)
While we waited for our meals to be prepared. Ren decided it would be a good idea to do his grocery shopping at the nearby Safeway. I think he is very busy playing video games because he has taken to scheduling regular everyday tasks into that 20min period between ordering the takeout and picking it up. Just last week, we went to his bank and then picked up his dry cleaning. It reminded me of my favorite Kids in the Hall skit entitled “Seven things to do”. (matt)
This curry night occurred in the first two weeks after the release of Grand Theft Auto 4. I have absolutely nothing else to say in my defense so I will supply you with the appropriate video clip to enjoy. (ren)
The trip to Safeway was enlightening. We watched as an Indian woman debated about which Patak’s product to buy. Despite checking out a ready-made Patak’s Butter Chicken sauce on the shelf below, she opted for the butter chicken paste. It was like she felt guilty for resorting to purchasing manufactured butter chicken but had rationalized the process by going with the paste, which would require partially more work (adding water). After this we spent time looking at Ren’s old dispensary and shaking our heads in shame. Ren cautioned me to never work for Safeway. When we completed our grocery shopping (sans pickled herring), we proceeded to the till where a very gay bag boy (yes, that’s right, I said, “gay bag boy”) was jabbering about how he hadn’t bought his mom anything for Mother’s day. Customers cussed him out. (matt)
Of course she could have also been taking into account the fact that the Patak's butter chicken is complete rubbish and is completely outshined by pretty much every generic butter chicken on the market. Safeway had a few things going for it as an employer. However their dress-code, specifically as it applies to facial hair made them a complete write-off for me. Beards were unacceptable and mustaches could not extend past the corners of the mouth. To help understand this policy I will give you some visuals. (ren)
Oh well. Water under the bridge as they say. When we returned to ADMM we noticed a local clothing shop with a wonderful outfit that I thought matty should purchase for his next house-party. However we worried that our interest might be construed as disrespect and we wanted to get the food when it was still hot so we decided to pass for the time being. (ren)
We returned to the meat market to pay for the food and it was piping hot! Excellent. We passed our business card to the attendant and unlike on other occasions, which were met with puzzled looks and muttled brains, the employee of ADMM asked if we would like to display our cards next to his till. Ace!!! He was back in the good books. (matt)
It's genuinely fun watching the reactions when people notice what our card is. Our modus-operandi is to not announce ourselves as “the press” so as not to change anything about the meal. If a restaurant is going to have a different approach to serving a couple of white guys in jeans than they would for a couple of food critics we'd hate for our reviews to get skewed by it. (ren)
Equipped with the curry, we left the Curry district, driving past a giant circus tent and signs advertizing the Sikh parade, eventually making our way back to Ren’s house. The food was very good. My curry goat was satisfactory but Ren’s Chili Chicken didn’t miss. It was spot on. The pakoras were fantastic and the naan wasn’t burnt. A good effort for sure and well worth the drive. Plus, we didn’t even have to muck around in one of New York’s sewers or fight mutant rhinos. (matt)
The chili chicken was amazing. I always forget how much I like this dish even though it always has waaaaaay more onions than my mother has seen me eat in my entire lifetime. Somehow they taste less offensive to me when they're cooked in a delicious mix of spice and awesomeness. It was hot, but it's that tasty kind of hot, not the horrible heat for heat's sake hot. The goat curry was pretty good from the sample I stole. I think matt's opinion of it was simply hurt by the relative greatness of my chili chicken. The pakora's were extra-special tasty, even if they weren't specially cheap as one would assume from them being “on special” and the naan was exactly what I needed. I also had a cider to wash it all down and we watched the Penguins beat the Flyers for entertainment. (ren)
