So, usual week.....matty emails me early in the week to see if our schedules coordinate and if we can get out for some curry together.  As it works out, we can do it on Saturday and Diana and Ang can come too.  I don't think Diana has done much indian food eating (her refusal to accompany us to forest lawn might have something to do with that) so I know matt's gonna pick a relatively nice place to take us. (ren)

“This was a mistake.”

I can certainly remember a few times that I’ve uttered those words. Once at a Oktoberfest after quaffing 2 steins of beer, half meter of bratwurst and 4 giant pretzels and then agreeing to ride a massive vomittron on the midway with some Bavarian princess. Or the time I stopped to talk to a snake charmer in Morocco only to be chased by a cobra- wielding madman moments later. 

Moments you just wanna invoke a mulligan on. The morning after dining at Surahi restaurant I had that same feeling. (matt)

After a pre-curry beer, and matt thwarting my attempted “fart-bombing” of his house we head over to the restaurant.  Easy enough to find, its right on MacLeod just south of Heritage Drive.  Too bad it was so easy to find, we could have used a back-up-plan-curry on this occasion. (ren)

Ren and I were joined by Ang, Jeff and Diana to dine at a place that I believe used to be called Little India. The automatic doors are a reminder that it was also a First Calgary Savings and Loan branch. The inside is generically decorated pretty much like any other place we’ve eat at: the odd rug, maybe some Indian drinking vessels, probably a picture of the Taj somewhere. There is no ceiling. I have no idea why this is important to note other than more than one person at our table commented on it.   (matt)

It was especially neat that despite, or maybe because of, the lack of a ceiling, all of the light fixtures had a neat little circle of “fake ceiling” that they were mounted to.  Ok..maybe not that neat....we're having to stretch here for things to talk about.  Hmm, also, the bathrooms were quite acceptable and none of the fixtures were located in the dining area.  (ren)

We sat down and while Ren eyed the buffet, I slandered the concept of Indian buffet; hoping for an ala cart menu to show up. No such luck. Buffet only. While some people love buffet, I loath it. Where others see large quantities and selections of food, I see poor quality food that’s been sitting under heat lamps for hours on end. Nonetheless, I would have to swallow my pride or starve. (matt)

Generally I like the buffet concept.  Sure they tend to tone down the spice in the food a bit, but its a good way to try out a couple different things that you maybe haven't had before and to also have as much as you want.  Or don't want in this case. (ren)

To say that the food was mediocre would be generous. The buffet consisted of Vegetable Samosas, papadums, Birianyi, plain rice, keema mutter, mutter paneer, lamb curry, dhal, eggplant and potato curry and of course, every white person’s favorite: butter chicken. The best part of the meal was probably the pea (mutter) dishes; otherwise the food was bland and tasteless. Two parts of the meal stand out in particular. First, while Ren is our butter chicken expert, I will put in my two cents about the “murgh makani”. It tasted more Hungarian than Indian and reminded me of a dish my oma and opa used to make called Chicken Paprikash (paprika chicken). It would have been excellent with dumplings, but it certainly didn’t go well with the rice or naan. Speaking of the naan, it tasted like charcoal flavoured roof shingles. Maybe that’s where their ceiling went. (matt)

Well....one good thing about having the buffet, we didn't leave wondering if we'd just had the bad luck of ordering the one or two (or 5 this time) dishes that they don't make all that well.  We got to try it all, and I think the general review is “blah”.  Honestly, except for the $18 price tag I would have probably been happier with a bowl of Tandoori Doritos and Curry Lays than I was with this spread.  (see bonus review)

I agree with matt's assessment of the butter chicken.  My own mother used to make a chicken and dumpling stew thing that tasted just like this so-called butter chicken.  She didn't have a fancy name for it.....but its not really deserving of one.  The samosas were pretty good....they were like junior-sized northeast samosas.  Whereas NE samosas are generally baseball (or even softball) sized balls of pastry just bursting with filling, these were about golf-ball sized.  But at least they were tasty, and they weren't those squishy little flat things you get at a lot of restaurants (and safeway).  (ren)

The restaurant was full of white people, which likely reflects the quality of the cuisine. Of note, was a group of middle aged men, perhaps on a business trip and looking to cheat on their wives. At least one of them had his salmon colored shirt half unbuttoned, enjoying a Raj beer. Creepy, but not as creepy as our waitress. She appeared to have jail house tattoos on her hand. Does anyone know what a giant M means? I suspect possibly “maniac” or “man eater”.  She was quite gruff and intimidating. At one point, I asked if she was okay and she looked at me like she was gonna kill me. (matt)

We left Surahi unfulfilled. And partially angry. I was so angry that I gorged myself with ice cream and beer after the meal. Unfortunate.

Surahi is a failure. Plain and simple. Only go there if you are a divorcee looking to abet a middle aged man with his marital frustrations or you have recently been paroled from a woman’s institution.

Score= 3/10  (2 elephantitis testes and 1 foot)

Rating:

Bonus Review:

Lays : Curry flavour......these taste pretty much exactly like grocery store curry powder sprinkled on chips.  That is to say, pretty good for the first few, and then a bit tiresome. Also gives you some seriously nasty breath.  Better than ice-cream for keeping away fat-chicks probably.

Doritos : Tandoori Sizzler ... Doesn't really taste like a tandoori sizzler....but it tastes pretty good.  Kinda like the BBQ ones but with more curry flavour than ketchup-y flavour.  Gotta love it.  Gotta love my spell-checker red-flagging me every time i write FLAVOUR.