Sorry for the delay avid readers....all 2 of you....been working odd shifts and haven't been able to get together with matty to test the fiery curry waters for a while. But now we're back.....to let you know we can really shake 'em down....

So upon Mattys insistence we decided to try our the Maurya restaurant in Kensington. Its one of those places I've walked past a dozen times but for some weird reason I've never had the urge to go in. Well, i guess matt had the urge, and instead of seeing his doctor for some antibiotics he decided to scratch it. How come matt keeps picking the upscale NW places and I keep picking the dodgy ones....I think one of us has forgotten our "mission" statement. There was not a single "gas-plus" in sight as Matt, Amber the pharmacy student, and myself swooped into kensington and into the restaurant. Amber admits to having a few run-ins with indian food but for the most part she is the "curry-virgin" that we've been speaking on the behalf of so many times in our reviews.

The overall decor is upscale/trendy with nice indian woodwork and art on the walls. The compusory sitar/tabla music was playing on the radio and the buffet was nicely hidden in the corner. There was no tv to watch cricket or "Eye on Islam" on but it was not really missed.

There were about 8 or so dishes on the buffet spread, although a couple of them were just for eye-candy. Seriously I'm not here for either the pickeled beets or the cucumber.... None of the items were labelled but the ingredients were mostly easily identified. Basic assortment of mutter aloo, dhall, beef curry, veg curry, tandoori chicken and a butter-chicken like substance. Couple others that i can't remember but oh well. The mutter aloo was a highlight.... which is to say the rest was pretty lack-lustre. The dhall was bland (as it usually is), the beef curry was greasy (as it always is), the veg curry was ok, the tandoori chicken was good as usual. The only criminal atrocity this dish ever performed was pretending to be butter-chicken. I really don't know what was wrong, but it just wasn't quite right. Not much tomato flavour, and pretty much no creamyness at all. I should have had a 1-day boycott of the dish because it was disappointing. There was also rice with the buffet and naan strips were served to the table. The naan was tasty but the slices reminded me of pizza-bread.

Also with my meal I ordered a mango lassi. It was delish but the straws they included with the glass were too skinny. They were those little tiny ones you get with a small drink at the flames games....not very useful for sucking down a thick shake. Maybe some of you females out there are able to produce the right kinda suction but I haven't needed to since I stopped going to those "jail-parties". Also when paying for the meal I found that it cost $5. I wish Vincent Vega was there to stop me from ordering the five-dollar-shake.

Mattys Turn Now

A bizarre series of drunken events in the last 24 hours saw me go from watching football in a pub in Kensington to two-stepping on the dance floor at Ranchmans, watching my dentist friend put in an admirable effort on the mechanical bull followed by me getting in a verbal confrontation at the Drive Thru at McDonalds. The end result was me waking up with gout and a longing for curry.

Ren picked me up shortly after 1 PM and decided to bring his pharmacy student (Amber) along for fun. No doubt she must have been thrilled with the thought of establishing her own curry review website after graduation. Secretly, all pharmacy students want to be like us one day. Okay maybe not.
Location: Maurya is located in Kensington. Its pretty much a write off in terms of dodginess unless you are afraid of cappuccino drinking yuppies.

The Food: We went for the daily luncheon buffet. They had a wide variety of items, perhaps 9 in total. None of them were labeled but curry virgin Amber seemed to do okay passing on the most obviously disappointing dishes. I sampled pretty much everything save the raita (cucumber salad) and the desserts. All told, it was at best satisfactory. The one potential bright point was the Aloo Muttar (potatos & peas), which was appropriately spiced, making my nose run.

I was too hungover and basically forgot to order a lassi.

Ren found a notation in the guestbook about some dude who apparently ate at Maurya alone. Under comments he marked: LONELY. In the end, I was probably no less disappointed with experience than that guy. Don’t go to Kensington for curry. Go there to look like you’re too cool to live anywhere else aside from maybe Mission, Marda Loop or Inglewood.

Three (or maybe 5) people not seen at the restaurant:

1. Tony Orlando
2. Tony Esposito
3. Tony Tonie Tone

Overall review, we also didn't see Tony the Tiger, or Tone Loc....Um.....6 outta 10.
Also, I may be adding a guest review from curry-virgin Amber in the future but she appears to have missed the publication deadline. Something about not having the internet yet cause she's from Saskatchewan and she doesn't understand the technology.....or deadlines....

Update Jul 5/05 AMBER'S REVIEW

Well, Amber gave me her curry review yesterday after pestering her a couple times. Apparently she really doesn't understand how the internet works because she handed me her review, hand-written on a sheet of paper. How 1953. Well, here's her review.

This place isn't very dodgy, I thought you guys reviewed dodgy curry joints. The yellow stuff was spicy, but a good spicy. There was not too much cilantro on the tandori chicken, earning it the Amber Stamp of Approval. The hightlight of the meal was the lack of cilantro.

Well there you have it folks.....the words of a curry virgin, the yellow stuff was good, and not too much cilantro is a good thing.....Ren signing off.

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