So we decided to turn up the dodgy a few notches and headed out to Forest Lawn for some food. Looking back, I think the best part was seeing 2 more places to try in the near future. Heh heh
I'll let Matty go first:

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Based on reader feedback, it was decided this week, that we’d have to “up the ante” in terms of dodgyness. No more posh suits. No more pulling up to the Valet parkade with hot super models on our arms. No more “Coldplay in Kensington” moments. No more paparazzi. From now on, it’s all about sweating it out in the dodgiest of locales. If a murder happened last week in your favorite curry house, we wanna eat there. If there are drunk, homeless people with mustard stains on their shirts, who live outside the curry house, we wanna eat there. This is our oath.

In Calgary, I can think of no dodgier community than that of…FOREST LAWN.

I’ve only been to Forest Lawn once. It was on a Saturday morning at 8. And I still nearly shit my pants. It’s the kind of place where it’s not abnormal to settle business disputes with a knife fight or Molatov cocktails. Thus, I was less then amused when Ren asked me to drive my new car across the city to get there.

Despite being next to some low cost housing units, I was pleasantly surprised by the inside of the restaurant. It looked and smelled like a respectable restaurant. It had Kingfisher beer (the number one beer in India). The owners even turned on some music praising Ganesh (“You know good times are on the way when Ganesh makes an appearance”). Things were looking pretty authentic, save maybe the retractable bars on the windows.

It’s widely known that I enjoy a tasty lassi. And, aside from the odd trip to Scotland (that joke never gets old), I always order the mango-flavoured variety. The restaurant scored points with me on the generous size of the lassi doiled out. For 4 bucks you get more then a handful of sweet mango flavor. Lassi score: 3/3

Unfortunately for Darbar restaurant that’s where it all ended. We tried to order the fish pakoras and were informed they were not available. So instead we were brought flavourless samosas. Worse yet, they came with chickpeas and a cold sauce that had been sitting in a buffet pan in the middle of the dining room. I think that’s a public health violation. Things only got worse when I ordered the Baingan Burtha, a roasted eggplant dish. It just made me angry. It tasted like burnt wood. Ren sensed a peat flavour to the dish. Jackasses. I come to your restaurant and you serve me dirt. Look up “Pica” in your medical dictionary next time you think about plating such crap in front of me. When the naan came it was so overly moisturized in ghee, I could have bathed in it. Overall, a brutal display of food.

Congrats Darbar, you’ve earned this blog’s first FAILING SCORE – 3/10 (and all points came from the mango lassi)

Too upset to do the “3 people we didn’t see” thing,
Matt.
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Well, tell us how you really feel matty....heh heh.
Well, not really much for me to add. My meal was better, but not great honestly. No fish pakora, samosa's over-priced and under-samosa'd, and the naan was too greasy. To me Matts dish tasted like a good Islay Scotch. Very peaty and charred oak flavour to it. Unfortunatly we were not at the Whiskey Bar, Oh don't ask why, I tell you we must die. I think we both realized we were in trouble when there was no one else in the restaurant and the phone only rang once during the entire meal. Not a good sign.

(my meal was a 6/10 but I'm gonna keep the overall as a 3 cause its not acceptable for the two of us to go home with that much of a hate on for the place.

Ren
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In honour of our first failing score I've decided to write the first Dodgy Curry Haiku:
 
Indian food's good.
Except from Dharbar where it
Tastes like monkey balls.

Rating: