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You may be asking yourself, "Where is my large automobile?" Or "Where is my beautiful house?" or even "WTF, This is not my beautiful wife?" Regardless of what Elvis Costello will tell you, the real question you should be asking is "What the hell are Ren and Matt up to and are they out of curry restaurants?" (matty) (of course if I were david byrne I'd be asking myself why matty is crediting my talking heads song to elvis costello....-ren)
No is our one-word answer.
We've been skiing. After a couple of eventful days of riding the slopes, including an awesome powder day at Fernie, all we've been eating recently is chili. If there's one guy who should not eat chili, its Ren. Honestly, I'll admit that sometimes the smells coming from my "poop orifice" are less than complementary; I'm convinced Ren needs to be investigated. (Matty)
Hmm...all pretty ladies can investigate....fellas...keep your hands to your own pooper. (ren)
Whatever. Ren was doing a shift at the SDM in the Northeast so we decided to check out a tip from one of his colleagues. The official address of The Village Restaurant is on Falconridge BLVD. I'm not sure why, seeing as its located BEHIND a shopping mall on Falconridge BLVD. Hence, its not actually on Falconridge BLVD, making it unbelievably frustrating to find. That, and in order to reach the parking lot, I had to go offroading in my Altima. Grrr. (matty)
It was actually quite easy to get there...if you follow the road....although I also don't understand the whole address thing...its on its own street if you ask me...and if that street doesn't have a name....they can always name it after me. Google maps actually had the location as being in the centre of the median between the two lanes of falconridge blvd... (ren)
We walked in noting that they advertise themselves as Pakastani rather than Indian. Interesting, except their menu is pretty much the same as most Indian places. I didn't see anything that looked different. Maybe the one difference is the meat flavoured Popsicle. As we were sitting down 3 guys were handed their desserts to go. They appear to be some type of frozen goat sticks. It confused both of us to no end, but we made fallatio jokes none the less. (matty)
The actual atmosphere in the restaurant was pretty decent. They have the coolest chairs....if i just saw one on the street I would have called it african styled. Very colourful and made of wood. Not very comfortable...but hey...they looked good. Thats what counts. (ren)
We ordered some type of kebab meat for an appatizer. Unfortunately the concept of appetizer escaped them and this arrived after our main coarse. The kebab was membranous with the texture of school cafeteria meatloaf and looked like a hockey puck made from pate. What is it with these people and bizarre meat shapes? If I had to eat this everyday, I would probably just not eat. (matty)
On top of the fact that they forgot the appy...i think they also changed it from what we ordered to whatever they had lying around. I'm sure we ordered the Bihari Kabab (beef on skewer) rather than the Gola Kabab (ground beef in round shape). (ren)
I ordered butter chicken, which I never make a habit of doing. I know what it's supposed to taste like and this dish was nowhere near creamy enough. Ren ordered Naan which didn't arrive at all. The only good thing about the meal was the mango lassi and the chili flavoured rice. Short of that, poor. (matty)
More on the main course. I originally ordered
the fish masala and after a discussion about whether I wanted the fish
masala or the fish pakora I was told that actually they were all out.
So I went with plan b. Butter chicken. Really it should have been to go
to another restaurant but hey...I'm lazy. I did appreciate the fact that
they listed it as Murgh Makhani on the menu but i did not appreciate its
lack of creaminess. Probably on par with Masala Express' butter chicken...which
is to say not very good. The rice matty mentioned was very tasty. It had
some curry in it and some veggies and a few chunks of non-offensive mystery
meat. Very nice. (ren)
There are literally 4 other curry joints
within a 5minute WALK of this place (or a 10 minute drive with matty behind
the wheel) so I really can't give it to high a score. Maybe if it was
at the end of my block and there was no other curry for miles I'd consider
it...but really....we won't be back. I was seriously considering ordering
takeout from another place to eat during my shift that night while I was
still eating my lunch at the Village Restaurant. (ren)
Score: 5 Meatsicles out of 10.
Not at the restaurant:
- Ricky Gervais - Check out his podcast: www.rickygervais.com
- Dr. Mario
- Sasha Baron Cohen (AKA Ali G)
Rating:
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