For the first time in a long time Ren and I were stumped about where we’d like to go for curry. Dare I say we are running out places to review? No. We are not.  We decided to try Madras Kitchen. When we arrived at Madras Kitchen armed with our discount coupon for $9 off, we were shocked to find out that the restaurant had changed names and owners.  (matt)

Never a good sign when a restaurant puts those coupons in the Entertainment Book and then goes out of business.   The last-ditch effort to save the sinking ship did not pan out and now you’re out on the streets on skid row.  Oh well, no great loss for us….at least it was replaced by a new curry joint, and not some other business that is of no value to us.  Instant pay-day loans?  Pawn shop?  Sex-toy shop?  Crappy franchised fast food? MLA’s constituency office?  We have no use for these things.  But more curry.  Now we’re talking. (ren)

As we walked into Mirch Masala, we were greeted by numerous family members standing along the counters of the front foyer.  A young boy in his early teens sat doing his homework. His mother, perhaps embarrassed and wanting to make us welcome, scurried him into the kitchen, out of site.  The other family members soon joined him as they no doubt were ready to get down to work to prepare one of the first and only meal orders for the night.   (matt)

The interior was nice and new and seemed fairly freshly painted.  There were a couple stools and eating-bars along the walls if you chose to eat-in I suppose.  Nice and clean and bright.  Much better than those dodgy MLA offices we’re always not hanging out in.  (ren)

We glanced at the glossy menu and I was torn between Fish Curry and Shahi Paneer. Ren decided he wanted both of those and that left me with unenviable task of trying something different. Two items bizarrely caught my eye. They do a Lobster tail curry for $20 and a Masala Crab Curry for slightly cheaper.  When I chose the King crab dish, the owner looked a little stunned. I thought he was gonna tell me he didn’t have any crab but then went on to explain that he wasn’t sure exactly how to incorporate the meat into the dish. While I appreciated his honesty, it left me confused. Why have a dish on the menu if you aren’t sure how to prepare it? Nonetheless, we ventured on and ordered rice, naan and pakoras. Here again, I sensed some inexperienced jitters on behalf of the owner.  The menu has a listing for (6) pakora for a nominal fee. When I asked for six pakoras, he asked if I wanted 6 orders of pakoras rather than 6 individual pakoras. No big deal but one could tell that opening night kinks were still being worked out.  (matt)

Not sure why matt felt obligated to order something different than me.   Maybe he thought they would laugh at him and assume he was just copying my order because he doesn’t know anything about Indian food and he was unsure what to order.  Or maybe he’d just like to blame me if his new dish didn’t work out.  It’s a well-know fact that when I order something new and exciting it turns out to be awesome….but when matt does he gets eggplant that tastes like peat-moss.  (ren)

The owner told us it would be 25 minutes and we decided to head across the street towards Sunridge Mall.  We passed not one, but two Sleep Country stores within 2 blocks. I’m not sure if THIS WAS A MISTAKE on behalf of Christine Magee or some type of mattress marketing blitz. It rivals Sweden’s 7-11 fetish, where it’s not unheard of to find 3 of the 24 hour convenience stores at a common intersection.  Why buy a mattress anywhere else, when you can buy it across the street? (matt)

It’s a little bizarre to say the least.  The sunridge area has developed a nice little pocket of furniture stores….but two shops from the same chain?  WTF.  And its not like the double-whammy of Futureshop and Best Buy in northland mall….at least even though those are the same company they have different banners and business models. (ren)

Speaking of which, we proceeded to the Sunridge best buy. I hate this store. Why should I take advice on spending thousands of dollars on home electronics from some loser who probably isn’t gonna pass his Trigonometry 20 exam the next morning? We left shortly after. (matt)

Matt’s right….I mean, why trust some punk kid in a store face-to-face when you can go on the internet and get all the expert advice you’ll ever need from other punk kids….but with more offensive language and more grandiose claims.  “The LCD iz teh fail”  “Blu-ray suxxorz”  “Eat shit you stupid piece of shit or I’m going to take a shit in your bed and then make you eat the shit you stupid shit” are just some of the wonderful tidbits you can pick up on any elite technophile discussion board.  Face-to-face … such as in a retail setting, these sub-humans behave much more acceptably.  (ren)

Arriving back at the restaurant, we engaged the owner in some more friendly conversation. I’ve come to understand that there are two types of curry house proprietors. The first kind are the ones who give you a shy smile and maybe if they’re new immigrants, that famous side to side head toggle in response to Yes/No questions.  The other kind, like the owner of Mirch Masala, is much more vocally confident in westernized communication. Our man at this restaurant, was quite willing to sing the praises of his own works, and did so quite well, I might add.  He even threw in some free rice puddings on the house.  A generous gesture for sure that left us wanting to give this new establishment a glowing endorsement for a score. Would the food match the congenial nature of the owner or was it all sweet talk? We would soon find out. (matt)

It’s really too bad that neither of us actually enjoy rice pudding and it ended up going into the void of my fridge to be forgotten until garbage day.  Whoops.  He was very confident in singing the praises of his cooking, despite admitting earlier that he had no idea how to prepare matt’s crab curry.  He even interrupted matty once when matt was trying to tell him about our website and how he was going to be the next featured restaurant.  Oh well…back to the more stealth technique of including a business card with the bill. (ren)

 When we arrived home, we unloaded the food. As a friendly reminder, the rice puddings were labeled “ON THE HOUSE”. I found that a little obnoxious but it was nothing in comparison to the annoyance of discovering that the meat for my crab curry was still in its shell.  Conch Curry! Since Ren didn’t have the appropriate crustacean utensils required for eating my Dr. Zoidberg curry, I was left struggling with tetanus flavoured scissors to cut the shells.  It was as messy of an experience as there is (outside maybe colonoscopy prep), and in the end, I had masala all over my hands.  I would say that this dish would be better prepared sans exoskeleton. I would have liked to have seen it done as a fusion dish, fashioning the crab meat into southwest cakes and then bathing them in a Malai Kofta sauce. Instead, all I was left with was dangerous encounter with Dr. Claw! (matt)

It was very strange to see matty up to his elbows digging out crab meat from his curry sauce.  It honestly looked like the most difficult to eat Indian meal I’ve ever seen, finally beating out the incumbent, chicken carcass curry featuring ribs and spines.  My shahi paneer and fish curry were both quite tasty, and the naan was more than adequate.   Nothing amazing, but if I was in the area I’d get them again.  Upon sampling matt’s crab curry I found that the meat, being cooked in the shell, had not actually absorbed any of the sauce’s flavour. The end result was simply tasty curry sauce and rice with incredibly annoying crab legs soaked in it.  Not really something you’d order twice.  (ren)

The rest of the food was decent but by no way mind-blowingly amazing. We really appreciated the owner’s zest for what he was doing. He threw in a number of freebees (including an extra naan) and asked us for our opinions on curry. Ultimately, despite wanting to endorse this man’s new business venture, I cannot give it more than a 6/10. Ren might argue for 7. 

(Webmistress' note: Ren is the boss today, so Mirch Masala gets a 7)

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