I’m hideously and anorexically hung-over but have promised Ren I’d do curry. I nearly backed out of the affair tonight but Ren tells me he has cancelled his plans with his grandparents just so he can dine with me. The guilt trip works and within the hour, we are in his car looking for some take-out. (matt)

Well, actually I'd made the plan to go out with matt early in the week and my mother only called me that afternoon about the grandparents supper.....but when you're jonesing for a curry you gotta pull out all the stops.  Hmm...honestly....who actually plays the organ, especially a real one with stops.  What a bizarre phrase.  And how did this become a sports cliche?  Hmm....I'm rambling.  (ren)

We had previously tried, unsuccessfully (See our review of Puspa), to review DJ Curry Hot Pot but vowed to give it another shot. DJ Curry Hot Pot has only been open for about 3 months under new ownership. We had previously met the Afghan owner and were probably secretly pulling for him to have a bit of success. Judging from our first impressions on this night, they are not doing themselves any favors in promoting their restaurant. (matt)

And not to dwell on it....but DJ's was our second choice.  The original plan was to try out the (in)famous Baba Ka Dhaba and to do it in plenty of time for me to make it to hockey without the usual aspiration pneumonia effects that curry can have on a hockey player.  However matt's self-induced illness caused our plans to change so we hit DJ's.  (ren)

We pulled into the parking lot to find the restaurant’s lights on and windows steamed up like Ren’s car on prom night. The neon “OPEN” sign was turned OFF. Just to be sure, I knocked on the door to see if they were open. The lady at the till cursed when she realized she had forgotten to turn the sign on. Rule #1 of restauranteering: If you want people to eat at your place, invite them in. (matt)

Restauranteering should not be confused with racketeering.  The first rule of racketeering has nothing to do with open signs.  I think it is actually "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman."  Or something like that.  Since I was alone on prom night it seems strange that my windows would have fogged up, er...wait...never mind.  (ren)

We walked into DJ Curry Hot Pot to find puke green and orange cinderblock walls. There was a man making pizza. He didn’t appear to know the recipes since he was using the take out menu as a guide. Also, there was unfortunately no actual DJ on premise. We would suggest this as a business maneuver in the future. If they turned on the OPEN sign and had an Afghan (afghani? Afghanastani? Afghanistanani? -> ren) guy spinning the turn-tables, the place would be packed every night. Guaranteed.  (matt)

Personally I must say I admire these guys for having this type of business in this location.  You have to think the Pizza side of the business is mostly just to pay the bills (especially with a highschool right next door)  and the curry is the true passion.  Like John Travolta working at the paint store in Saturday Night Fever just to make enough money to dance all weekend.  (ren)

One requirement for my guarantee would be stellar food. They appear to have a tonne of North American food on their menu. Unless there’s something I don’t know, the last time I checked, Poutine is not native Afghan fare. (As an aside, if you do a curry gravy on a poutine, it’s twice as good.) We examined the curry section of the takeout menu and quickly decided on our entrees. We were told it would be 25 minutes so we wasted little time in heading down the street to Riverstone pub for pints. Tasty! (matt)

I went with the meat curry with chicken.  They also offered beef, but it is generally a good idea to avoid beef curries.  (especially in Indian curry houses where you have a chance that the proprietor is hindu and it is simply on the menu as a test...you do not want to fail this test).  The description of the curry went into great detail, listing ingredients as specific as “some salt” to as vague as “some other special Curry spices”.  Sounds fantastic.  Matt had the mantoo.  Unfortunately this dish was more of a dumpling rather than some kind of Sea-Cow Steak dish.  I don't know if the manatee travels to the east....but if it did I bet they could curry the hell out of it. There were two prices listed, and we asked to see the size of the small ($9.95).  Deciding it was too small for a pre-hockey meal I asked for the larger size ($14.95) which still seemed reasonable since it came with nan and rice. (ren)

I chose the traditional Afghan dish known as Mantoo. This should not be confused with Mantoux, the diagnostic test for tuberculosis. If someone does happen to offer you Mantoux as an entrée, we suggest passing and going with the poutine. The non acid-fast Mantoo is essentially a ground beef version of perogies sandwiched between sour cream and what appears to be a finely puree of daal or chickpeas. Oh, and there is some cilantro somewhere in there. They were okay but nothing special and probably overpriced at $15. The woman server said she would give us some extra rice for free but on the menu, the rice appears to be included in the price. The rice was very mediocre. I found Ren’s naan very doughy and his curry runny. (matt)

My curry was runny.  And so was my ass the next day.  Which can be a hindrance when snowboarding so thank goodness for imodium.  Hmm...hey matt...maybe we can do crappy product placement ads just like that and make money of this thing....ok...maybe not.  The curry was very liquid with only a bit of chicken in it.  Thankfully it was boneless, because it wasn't nearly good enough for me to bother sorting through a chicken rib-cage for the one tasty morsel of meat that's hiding in there.  It wasn't all that spicy, even though we both requested “HOT” when asked for our preference.  Also, my $15 curry came in the same size tub as we were shown for the $10 curry.  Methinks I was ripped off.  Half of the naan was very doughy and the rest was kinda tough and over-done.  Even the rice was sub-par with some pretty big lumps of not-quite-cooked rice in it.  (ren)

While we were leaving DJ Curry Hot Pot and Pizza, another customer walked in and ordered curry. He appeared to be very “granola”. He asked if they had vegetarian samosas instead of meat and then demanded a vegetarian only curry. He really reminded us of that gay pirate from the Anapura review. Perhaps he was related. Additionally, he was driving a vehicle with a bumper sticker that said “I Love Alberta Tofu”. Horrid. (matt)

We wanted DJ Curry Hot Pot to have a good review but the food was poor. While we are men of questionable moral standard, we cannot just hand out passing grades to any restaurant. DJ’s was a disappointment and we will not eat there again. Unless they put in the turntables.

Score: 5/10

Rating: