This review is for all you tossers out there who, after finding out that Ren and I review Indian restaurants for fun, inevitably ask “Have you ever eaten at Tandoori Hut? That’s my favorite place to eat.” No it isn’t.  It’s just the only place you’ve heard of.  Asking us a question like that equates to making a statement like, “Pizza Hut pizza is the best pizza in the world.” It just makes you look like an uncultured ass.  We have successfully put off eating at your “favorite place” for over 2 years just to prove our point. That is until tonight, when convenience and our dinner guest forced our hand and we had to concede that Tandoori Hut is, in fact, a real Indian restaurant.  (matt)

We’ve always kind of equated tandoori hut with Red Lobster or Olive Garden.  They’re the places that all of my out-of-town friends seem to flock to whenever they come for a visit.  The food's not that great, they tend to be full of tourists and rednecks, and there are so many better places that serve the same “type” of food, and do it better.  But they still go there cause they know it.   And Tandoori Hut is the Indian restaurant that the casual curry fan heads to when they need their curry fix.  Safe and non-threatening, but generally not spectacular.  (ren)

I found a cell phone outside my house this week. Despite attempts to contact the owner of the cell phone by scanning his/her phonebook for some useful listing resembling “HOME” or “WIFE”, I was left   only with a listing  for “000” and “JA”.  Not useful.  I even tried to phone the last numbers dialed and redialed the last incoming calls. No one seemed to recognize the number.  I then spent 15 minutes on hold with Telus trying to report this lost phone. Finally they asked me to drop it off at the Telus Store in North Hill Mall and they would sort it out. This is where I was when my own cell phone died while trying to arrange curry with Ren. The bastards at Telus wouldn’t even lend me any of the phones in the store.  Luckily, there’s still a CRTC law that states that the phone company has to maintain a certain number of pay phones.  One of which, is located in the foyer of North Hill Mall.  Thirty five cents later, I had Ren on the line and it was decided that since I was cellphone-less it would be best to eat somewhere close by. Since Ren’s new girlfriend was to join us, the art of dodge was also precluded.  Hence, Tandoori Hut was the best option.  (matt)

Matt calls and immediately says “I have to be quick, my phone is about to die”….and then silence.  It was the beginning of a suspense movie.  I could just imagine the twisted tale of kidnappers, gold-smugglers, terrorists, women of ill-repute, and curry that was about to unfold for me.  Just as I was calling the authorities to make my missing person report and start the excitement-ball rolling, I got a beep from matt calling from a pay phone.   Oh my goodness….a ransom request already? “It is our website’s policy not to negotiate with terrorists!!!!” I shouted into the phone, as matt explained the curry plan with no mention of the severe anal probing he had undoubtedly received at the hands of his captors.  We arranged the meeting and I prepared the valise of unmarked bills.  (ren)

I walked into the restaurant to find some Indian people sitting at one of the tables. This surprised me and gave the place an air of credibility. One of them had a cochlear implant.  “Check out the dude with the cochlear implant,” I whispered to Ren. Then, in a moment of embarrassment, I realized he could probably hear me from across the restaurant. I wonder if the Whisper2000 was a precursor to cochlear implants?  (matt)

While originally I was surprised that matty was allowed to come to the meeting place alone, I quickly realized that his captors were sure to be nearby watching and making sure there was no trickery or double-crossing going on.  As soon as matty pointed out the man with the implants, I knew the game was on.  This was obviously the culprit.  That only left me with the question, “was this also the ninja responsible for the missing cheese at 7-11????”.  (ren)

Ren and I ordered mango lassis. They were poor. They should have called them Mango Nectars with Ice.  We also found it odd that they had an alcoholic lassi, call the Mumbai lassi. I ordered Chicken Dessi which you rarely find on menus here in Calgary. The only other place I’ve seen it is at Prime’s Tandoori in Bridgeland. It’s a tomato and cream based dish that is a lot more tangy than Butter Chicken or Chicken Tikka Masala. I enjoyed my dish and would recommend it if you are looking for something safe yet tasty. Ren had a Rogan Josh.  I didn’t get the sense it was the best rogan josh but I’ll leave that up to him decide. Ren’s date had a South Indian specialty, coconut curry.  The meal came with tonnes of rice and the naan was decent. (matt)

The rogan josh was ok.  Not great.  I've gotten used to it being very thick and very tomato-ey.  This wasn't.  It wasn't bad, it just wasn't as thick or as tomato-tastic as I expected.  The lamb itself was fantastic though.  The coconut curry was very tasty, even though I generally don't like coconut very much. (ren)

Other than the lassis, there isn’t anything overtly horrible about Tandoori Hut. With the tips and taxes, we averaged $23 per person, but you need to expect that type of cash when dining in Kensington. There are better and cheaper places in the city to eat Indian food, but this NW institution by no means disgraced itself. Perhaps that’s why everyone goes there. It’s safe, it’s decent and people recognize it.

Recognize this: Seven/10.

Rating: