Submitted for your approval: A short review of a long time player in the Northeast Calgary curry scene. Kohi Noor. Basically Ren loves this place. Apparently he has a history there. Something about his first kiss. He keeps taking me there for various going away events/anniversaries/bar mitzvahs and I’m never very impressed. Today would be no different. (matt)

Kohi Noor was either the first or second place that I ate indian food from.  It was either here or The Bombay Sweet House....I can't really remember which.  This place is the one that I'd always do takeout from though when I worked in the NE.  (ren)

Lately Ren’s been trying to incorporate himself in the NE culture a little too much. Case in point on this day, when he showed up in a stolen vehicle that he claimed was his dad’s new pick up. Shame. (matt)

The debate over buffet vs. a la carte vs. a la mode raged on again as we sat down in an empty restaurant. This place seems like it’s always empty. (I’ve been to Kohi Noor thrice and there’s never been anyone in the place. Is it a front for the Masala Mafia? No. Probably not. We will expose that group when we review a place called Desi Mafia in the coming weeks.)  The other thing about Kohi Noor is that it’s apparently built on a fault line. All the art work is crooked.  (matt)

I don't understand matt's argument with the buffet.  Yes it's often craptastic....and the food isn't always very good...(hmm ok...maybe i do understand his argument).  But for every 2 or 3 buffets that are horrible you get one that is really good. I also can't figure out why its always dead when we go to Kohi Noor.  Whenever I used to get take-out from there I'd end up waiting an extra 15-20 minutes just for the line of other people getting takeout or sweets to clear out.  (ren)

Ren went with buffet as usual. I went with a menu item. Neither of us opted for Ice cream on top of our meals. I had Khadai Goat which basically amounted to goat soup. We knew it was gonna be shit when it came out within 3 minutes of ordering. I wasn’t impressed with the naan either. It tasted like floury Jewish Melba toast. Bad.  (matt)

The buffet on the other hand was fantastic.  Except for the items not being labeled I'd highly recommend it.  They had butter chicken...which isn't quite as good as their take-out one...but still good.  Also there was a goat curry, and a shahi paneer type dish (basically butter chicken with paneer instead of chicken).  There were a few other dishes that I can't recall....but nothing I sampled was nearly as bad as matt's dish.  Even the buffet samosa's were big and tasty.  I agree the naan was poor....(ren)

Basically my whole experience amounted to a very generous 6/10. I didn’t enjoy it. Ren will certainly be more gracious. (matt)

With matt's dish being so bad I can't boost the grade too much.  And it wouldn't be fair to mark them for past deeds....so I can only give a 7. 

Rating:

Since this review is about as close as we're gonna manage to our 2 year anniversary of doing these things. Here's a bonus video for you.  Its long....but its completely insane.