Dinner and a Movie. It’s the classic first date combo. Sure, it’s probably not as popular as “Binge Drinking and Vegas Wedding Chapel Carnage” but hey, not everyone can be that romantic. Luckily for the rest of us, one restaurant has combined the Dinner and Movie concept, allowing patrons to dine at their Indian-centric buffet before heading upstairs to the in-house cinema. Eat curry, see a movie AND  save on gasoline! What a result!  When I found about this concept, I knew I had to investigate.

After a thorough internet search, it was revealed that the restaurant was in Australia. A second more strenuous internet search revealed that “Australia is a country in the Southern Hemisphere” and “you cannot drive there from Calgary”.

I knew that this made things significantly more difficult.

Nonetheless, I asked the special woman in my life if she wanted to eat curry with me. She agreed. I then told her that she would need to book 3 weeks off work and get a visa for Australia. She became suspicious and started to renege on my dinner offer.  Not to fear though, I simply pointed out that she had made me sit through 27 Dresses and that it was my turn to pick the movie. I picked “Whatever movie was playing at Govinda’s, in Sydney”.  End of discussion.  Date Secured.

Some 17 hours later, jet lagged and disoriented from the immigration/cavity search, we found ourselves in King’s Cross; Sydney’s seedy bar neighbourhood, lined with both hostels and brothels. At times, it’s difficult to tell the two apart. 

After stumbling past numerous sex shops and unsavory touts selling naked women, we found Govinda’s on Darlinghurst Road. It was a welcome sight. We walked up the stairs. I noted that in addition to dinner and movie, Govinda’s also offers yoga and cooking classes. I hate yoga and also hate instruction of any sort.  Best to stick with the dinner and movie plans.

We sat down and were met by a cantankerous waitress wearing Birkenstocks.  She apparently was not getting enough of the right granola as she scowled at us, asking if we were gonna see the movie tonight or just eat buffet:

“Dinner and a Movie,” I replied.

“Fine.”

“What is the movie tonight?”

“Juno.”

Bloody hell. I fly half way around the world to eat curry and see a movie and I’m stuck with a movie about teen pregnancy. Maybe the curry would save the situation.

The buffet was rather odd. It seemed like they were shooting to satisfy Vegetarians instead of focusing on the curry aspect of vegetarian cuisine. There was a definitive Indian theme: Dhal soup, Gobi pakoras, the odd chickpea starter and veg curry. But there were also 8 different salads and pastas which were definitively un-Indian. Ren would have hated this place. I had a mango lassi which was quite nice but was diluted with ice. My date had a strawberry version which we previously have not seen. She seemed content but I didn’t care for the dining experience.    

We finished dinner early and had to wait around for other people to finish up before they would start the movie. As such, we ordered tea. Little did we know that each tea we ordered would be served in its own massive tea cauldron. There is no way for anyone to drink this much tea in any reasonable amount of tea drinking time (say 20-40mins). In the end, much of it went to waste.

As for the movie going experience, you are required to remove your footwear as they don’t have a traditional cinema. Instead everyone lies on the floor in a communal viewing environment. While the cushions they provide are insanely comfortable, the smell of some people’s feet isn’t. Plus, if you show up late, good luck finding a decent spot – You’ll be stuck next to some vegan tree planter with stinky arm pits and her date. Gah!

Juno wasn’t the worst movie ever but I think it minimalized teen pregnancy. In real life, getting knocked up in Grade 10 doesn’t result in ultra coolness and acceptance by your friends. Instead, you get shipped off to a special school, lose your friends and miss out on drunken parties in university, not to mention that 6-figure salary job. If I was gonna make a movie called Juno, it would be about a blood stained beach in France, not a blood stained placenta. Enough said.

Overall, don’t travel to Australia to go to Govinda’s. Instead, travel to Australia for the wine, kangaroos and meat pies.  

Score: 5/10

Rating: