I'm a big fan of any racket involving Kings. Shwarma King. Burger King. Horse Racing (the sport of kings). Regicide. Actually, I guess I'm probably fundamentally opposed to that one. (Chicken A La King is also a poor representation of kings. It sounds like it should be a fantastic dish, when in actual fact, it's just the inside of a chicken pot pie.) Thus, when Ryan Jones asked us to review his local curry shop, Tandoori King, we jumped at the opportunity. (matt)

Matt had forgotten the greatest kings of them all....KING KONG and the “King of the Monsters”  GODZILLA.....I bet Godzilla could make some wicked curry with his spicy breath.  (ren)

Tandoori King is in Pineridge on Rundlehorn Drive NE. It's about as ethnic as you can get in the City of Calgary, so you know it's up there in dodgyness. Plus, Jones never shies away from a sweaty take-out place and we knew we could count on him to join us. He nicely brought along his new bride Tanya, while avid reader Andi also got to dine with us. Our thanks to the Make a Wish Foundation for helping grant Andi's request to come along on an actual curry review. Some people's dreams are more elaborate than others.  (matt)

Man....that lucky girl...When I called the Make-a-Wish guys and asked for a hoverboard just like in Back to the Future 2 they were such jerks.  First they lied and said that hoverboards don't exist.....which is total bull-crap....cause it was in that movie so I know they're real..... And then they said that I wasn't a child with a life-threatening illness....well gee.....we're all gonna die someday...and I want my freaken hoverboard before I do.  If I hear that some little bugger from Ontario with rhabdomyosarcoma got a hoverboard and I still don't have one....I'm gonna park my scooter in a handicap space or something. (ren)

We pulled into the parking lot, which also housed an immigration service and a Royal Canadian Legion. One institution for people dying to come to Canada and another for people willing to die for Canada. There's probably a difference but it's beyond the scope of this website. Our veterans deserve a mean curry every now and then too I guess. The sign on the restaurant window had a giant duct taped “X samosas for 99cents”. We were unsure if this meant 10 samosa for 99 cents or if some previous offer had been reneged. Either way, it's the view of this website that roman numerals should be brought back. There was also an advert for some Indian rap concert. I think the performer's name was Jazzy D. It was like they had fused Heavy D and DJ Jazzy Jeff. Bizarre. (matt)

We busted in to find an empty restaurant. A woman sat behind the bar and seemed nervous to see white people. We had read in our preliminary research of this place that the proprietors were the proverbial “Samosa Nazis” and that it was tough to get them to serve you. In fact, our very own Ryan Jones was nearly denied a mango lassi one time while dining here. I am here to dispel this myth. Any hesitation on the owner's behalf is likely based on language skills and not some bizarre episode of Seinfeld. The woman quickly grabbed her husband, whose English was much better. He was more than willing to help us. (matt)

Ordering in a larger group is always a challenge. There's always the question of whether to order rice and naan for everyone or let people decide on their own. The owner was very accommodating and patient with us and even took time to explain to Jones that Chicken Tikka and Tandoori Chicken are essentially the same thing. In all the chaos, I was certain that one of our dishes would be missed but in the end, he got it spot on.(matt)

We ordered some Paneer Pakoras which were served with a nice (but different) tamarind sauce. They were excellent and everyone enjoyed them. Our mango lassis were very traditional (i.e. distinctly unsweet). Ren's dad, a fan of the salted lassi, probably would have enjoyed it. Gaaah!  (matt)

I like the traditional-styled lassi.  I still think the salted lassi is freakish and weird but a classic lassi with lots of the sour flavour and with the sweetness toned down is really nice.  Especially with a really hot curry....(which mine ended up being) (ren)

Our food took at least 25 minutes to prepare, so you know it was fresh and authentic. Some highlights while we waited included Andi retrieving a party noisemaker from the restroom (prompting a discussion about alternative theories of disease – Microbes vs Mystery Vapours/Gases) and Jones acting as Bobby Boucher after retrieving a giant cooler of agua from behind the bar (I was hoping for McDonald's Orange myself). (matt)

Man....all you readers need to try this sometime....Next time you're at a gathering with a bunch of health-professionals, declare your rejection of the  “Germ_theory_of_disease“.  Watch their jaws collectively drop.  Watch them rush to the bathroom to wash their hands knowing that if you don't believe in microbes causing illness than you sure as hell didn't wash your hands in between whizzing and shaking theirs.  Of course you'll need to be ready to argue the merits of abiogenisis and the theory of the four humours  (black bile, yellow bile, blood, and phlegm).  They'll hit you with their “pasteurization” and their “penicillin”....but you know that all they really need is a good blood-letting.  (ren)

An unfortunate moment occurred when Tanya pointed out that she felt the most enticing aspect of the new pharmacist prescribing laws was that she would no longer have to see a physician to get metronidazole. I don't think she realized that metronidazole is used for among other things, bacterial vaginosis and trichomoniasis when she made that statement. If her knowledge of pharmaco-therapeutics was poor, her meal definitely was not. I probably scoffed at Tanya when she ordered Butter Chicken, but I would say this was the best dish we had on our table. Which says a lot, since I usually hate butter chicken. Pretty much every restaurant claims to have the city's best butter chicken. I think Tandoori King actually does, although I will defer to Ren on that. (matt)

It was good....I dunno about best in town....but its sure a whole lot better than most of the butter chicken I've had lately.  I had the Kadahi paneer, a dish that to me closely resembled Chili Chicken...but without the chicken.  It was pretty close to holy-crap hot but it was really tasty.  The spiciness never threatened to block out the flavours of the individual ingredients and my mango lassi kept the heat to a manageable level. (ren)

I had the Chicken Korma which was alright but nothing over the top. Ren had a Jaffrezi type dish which he said was quite spicy. Most places do Jaffrezi with green pepper which isn't overly spicy but there were enough pepper seeds visible that I could see why Ren's nose was running. Andi had a saag (spinach), which because of the name, is a dish that always reminds me of nursing homes. Also, I find saag dishes to be visually unattractive, partly because I know they will look the same on the way out as they do on the way in (just like sucking back 4L of Go-lytely before colonoscopy, except green instead of clear).  Jones had about half a chicken. Enough said. The naan wasn't anything spectacular and the rice was decent. (matt)

When the bill came...Andi seemed to have forgotten her wallet.  So she turns to me and says “if you could just pay for me, I'll make sure to pay you back when we get to my place”.....”Woohoo!!” says I, thinking that finally these years of dodgy curry reviewing are gonna pay off with some unexpected snogging..... Fortunately (since ang would probably slap a crown on my head and regicide my sorry ass) this was not to be....Andi actually was planning to give me cash at her house.  Of course as it turned out, she didn't have any money there either....hmm...well I guess we've got to invite her out again so I can get a curry on her dime.  Oh the thrills of inviting random emailers out for curry with us.  (ren)

Overall, Tandoori King could be a hidden gem. Its one of those places that maybe not a lot of people know about, so if you wanted to show off your knowledge of the city you could take someone to. So next time that white guy at work brags that he had the best butter chicken at say, Maurya, laugh in his face. Then, stop whatever project you're working on and drive him to Tandoori King for their butter chicken. If he doesn't seem satisfied, stab him in the jaw with a pen. (matt)

I give my experience at Tandoori King a 7. What else is new? Ren thinks it deserves an 8. We'll leave it to up to our web-mistress to invent a rating scale that summarizes our differences. Maybe we should contact the statisticians with Greenchili.ca.  (matt)

(I say 8...cause andi gave an 8...and i think part of the whole curry-ride-along deal is that we have to do whatever she says.) (ren)

Rating:

Andi's review:

I only discovered upon arriving that Ren & Matt had never reviewed and/or been to Tandoori King restaurant. I was entirely stoked about the true dodgy experience! Admittedly, I'm no curry expert, but after living in England (where curry is more the norm than a luxury) I'd like to believe I can recognize authentic cuisine.

This adventure had sketch all over it. The outside was fairly shady, although not so different from many of the establishments Ren & Matt frequent! The inside looked like it could have been the Legion that was located at the other end of the strip mall. In the loo: I noted a men's comb resting upon the sink & counter. It was weird. Inside the stall I found a party blower resting on the toilet. Violating all infection control protocol, I put the party blower in my pocket and gave it to Ren when I got back to the table.

With some minor language barrier issues we got our order sorted. Appies: goood. Mango lassi's: very tasty. Matt reckoned their pure authenticity but quickly added he didn't like it. Mine was finished before the meal came. The lamb saag was yummy, could have handled more spice! Enormous plates of fragrant rice were served; naan was merely average. The manager was very lovely and someone should have given him a hug! Overall, it was a fun, satisfying, not-so-dodgy experience (8/10?)...
Thanks for inviting me along! I'm thinking I might be ready for some YYC curry?!